Telegraphe Congolais

Ordre de Mission

We are back safe and sound from Masisi, having apparently escaped the pincers of two opposing armies marching on the territory from opposite directions for a showdown. Or so the rumor goes. All I know is, we were running late and got a flat tire on the way back about ten minutes from Goma as darkness was beginning to fall. Mama Jeanne called Lyn, who in the cell phone static misheard the word "ambush" and was seriously concerned. We knew nothing of this; I was only scared later when Jo, who came to DOCS to meet us, told us he had phoned the governor and was ready to come extract us with a military team headed by someone named "Second Death."

It was quite mission. BJ, who was grumpy with a case of Leopold's revenge but managed to stay hermetic despite the bumpy road, kept turning to me periodically and saying "hey Lou, we're going into a war zone to rescue rape vicitms." I found that funny and was just spacing out, smoking cigarettes and enjoying the scenery while Nelson did all the work. Also funny was Nelson hanging out of the bus filming scenic views while showing serious asscrack views to the women passengers. Mama Jeanne was on her game all day, giving dap and saying something in greeting that sounded suspiciously like "Yo!" to various rescued orphans, pauper pastors, and local bureaucrats. In bed last night Masisi was streaming in my mind in a strange and psychedelic way... I was having visions of women carrying heavy loads on their heads across plunging roadsides, goats jumping out of our path, shepherd boys chewing grass in peaceful meadows, of stern stares, smiles, and a soldier who came begging to the window, his gun drooping pathetically at his side.

Nelson has gone to Kigali after a laying on of hands by the Assembly of God...

Send me money, because I'm strapped, and I'll bring you ivory toothpicks and Livingston fetish dolls. I know a guy who can get a bucket of grenades for a ten spot.

posted by LouisAntoine @ 2:15 AM